Monday, December 10, 2007
How to Look at Failure
There is a lot of talk about positive thinking and its effects on your life. Some people rely on positive thinking to keep failure at bay. While it helps, it also lulls a person into believing that nothing can go wrong, thus creating a false sense of security.
Unfortunately failure happens to us all. Failure may be a bitter pill to swallow but everyone must fail at one time in their lives. However, as experience has taught us, it is not the fact that you have failed that is important, but the manner in which you have accepted and risen from such failure.
A person can either allow their self to be thwarted by failure, or you can use such failure to build up your determination. What is important is that the experience of failing was not for naught, because the person who failed learned something from the experience.
Those who fear failure should know that most successful people have failed one or more times in their lives. But what made the difference is how they learned from the failure and how they used failure to succeed in life. The real failures are those who fail once and then refuse to try anything ever again for fear that they might fail again.
The fear of failure creates anxiety due to the fear of not knowing and not being certain of what will happen next. Most often, this results in a small problem being blown out of proportion. The more a person thinks about the possibility of failing, the more they will jump to conclusions on the possible scenarios. Unknowingly, this fear of failure has made a small problem bigger and more complicated.
Conversely you can go to the opposite extreme; a person who fears failure can become too competitive. It forces them to treat every person and every opportunity as a threat. This takes the joy out of doing something that should have been simple and without pressure. Such a person becomes nervous and anxious. The feeling of being pressured to do more and to exceed what is normal causes a person to be erratic and weary.
Fear of failure is normal. How you deal with it can make the difference. The best thing to do when confronted with fear of failure is to take inspiration from the reliable tree; which bends when confronted with a strong wind, to keep itself from breaking, and to rise again when the wind has stopped.
First, a person must accept that they are not a perfect being, in fact nobody is. A person has a right to err and to fail so you have to give yourself another chance and another day to fight your battle.
Always have someone or something to lean on when the going gets rough so that you will not feel alone and rejected. Most successful people rely on their families and friends when they are at their lowest point in their life. Others rely on their dreams of making it to the top to motivate them ever onward.
Whatever you do, do not keep the feeling of bitterness inside you because it will just build up and ruin you. Forgive yourself and talk about your fear and your frustration because it is the only way to get it out of your system.
Whoever said that failure is success turned inside out must have experienced failure at one time in their life. Just remember this simple fact; that failure is just success in disguise.
Be Blessed
Unfortunately failure happens to us all. Failure may be a bitter pill to swallow but everyone must fail at one time in their lives. However, as experience has taught us, it is not the fact that you have failed that is important, but the manner in which you have accepted and risen from such failure.
A person can either allow their self to be thwarted by failure, or you can use such failure to build up your determination. What is important is that the experience of failing was not for naught, because the person who failed learned something from the experience.
Those who fear failure should know that most successful people have failed one or more times in their lives. But what made the difference is how they learned from the failure and how they used failure to succeed in life. The real failures are those who fail once and then refuse to try anything ever again for fear that they might fail again.
The fear of failure creates anxiety due to the fear of not knowing and not being certain of what will happen next. Most often, this results in a small problem being blown out of proportion. The more a person thinks about the possibility of failing, the more they will jump to conclusions on the possible scenarios. Unknowingly, this fear of failure has made a small problem bigger and more complicated.
Conversely you can go to the opposite extreme; a person who fears failure can become too competitive. It forces them to treat every person and every opportunity as a threat. This takes the joy out of doing something that should have been simple and without pressure. Such a person becomes nervous and anxious. The feeling of being pressured to do more and to exceed what is normal causes a person to be erratic and weary.
Fear of failure is normal. How you deal with it can make the difference. The best thing to do when confronted with fear of failure is to take inspiration from the reliable tree; which bends when confronted with a strong wind, to keep itself from breaking, and to rise again when the wind has stopped.
First, a person must accept that they are not a perfect being, in fact nobody is. A person has a right to err and to fail so you have to give yourself another chance and another day to fight your battle.
Always have someone or something to lean on when the going gets rough so that you will not feel alone and rejected. Most successful people rely on their families and friends when they are at their lowest point in their life. Others rely on their dreams of making it to the top to motivate them ever onward.
Whatever you do, do not keep the feeling of bitterness inside you because it will just build up and ruin you. Forgive yourself and talk about your fear and your frustration because it is the only way to get it out of your system.
Whoever said that failure is success turned inside out must have experienced failure at one time in their life. Just remember this simple fact; that failure is just success in disguise.
Be Blessed
Labels: goals
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Focus On Your Goal
There has been much talk about setting goals and all the positive things that happen when you do so. In short if you do not have a destination you will not go anywhere. Conversely setting a goal and then forgetting about it will not work; you must give some attention to your goal. You must focus, and
imprint it on your mind until it becomes your reality.
While thought is blindingly fast compared to the manifestation of thoughts into our reality, it must be realized that it all starts with thought. With the thought comes a plan, and a plan becomes an action and an action becomes a reality. As you practice this system and become more confident, your thoughts will come into reality much more quickly. The hard part for people to grasp is that as a beginner, you must keep your energy focused on your goal.
Now here is a key concept; you must focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. Stop complaining about things that are not the way you want them to be, by doing so you are focusing on what you don’t want and where your focus is there will become your reality. Instead, decide how you would like things to be and focus on that, keeping in mind the key concept that what you think about will eventually become your reality. Whenever you find yourself giving attention to some area of your life with which you are unhappy, immediately ask yourself "What do I want in this situation?" and focus on the answer.
So once you have set your goal, take a look at your goal every day, and give it positive focus and attention. Think about your goal before you fall asleep and after you wake up, instead of worrying about your problems, imagine your goal successfully attained, and feel how you would feel if your goal was now your reality. Go to sleep with this feeling, and your subconscious mind will quickly find a way to bring it into your reality.
I am sure you have heard the saying “knowing is half the battle” and this is true. So what is the other half of the battle? The answer is action. You must do something that will bring about your goal. Doing nothing brings nothing, doing something will bring something. Now be patient with your self, if you are starting a new skill it will take many days, weeks and months of practice before you become proficient. It is the same with anything, there is a learning curve, and you start at the bottom and work your way up one step at a time.
The only job you start at the top is when you are digging a hole.
Be Blessed
imprint it on your mind until it becomes your reality.
While thought is blindingly fast compared to the manifestation of thoughts into our reality, it must be realized that it all starts with thought. With the thought comes a plan, and a plan becomes an action and an action becomes a reality. As you practice this system and become more confident, your thoughts will come into reality much more quickly. The hard part for people to grasp is that as a beginner, you must keep your energy focused on your goal.
Now here is a key concept; you must focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. Stop complaining about things that are not the way you want them to be, by doing so you are focusing on what you don’t want and where your focus is there will become your reality. Instead, decide how you would like things to be and focus on that, keeping in mind the key concept that what you think about will eventually become your reality. Whenever you find yourself giving attention to some area of your life with which you are unhappy, immediately ask yourself "What do I want in this situation?" and focus on the answer.
So once you have set your goal, take a look at your goal every day, and give it positive focus and attention. Think about your goal before you fall asleep and after you wake up, instead of worrying about your problems, imagine your goal successfully attained, and feel how you would feel if your goal was now your reality. Go to sleep with this feeling, and your subconscious mind will quickly find a way to bring it into your reality.
I am sure you have heard the saying “knowing is half the battle” and this is true. So what is the other half of the battle? The answer is action. You must do something that will bring about your goal. Doing nothing brings nothing, doing something will bring something. Now be patient with your self, if you are starting a new skill it will take many days, weeks and months of practice before you become proficient. It is the same with anything, there is a learning curve, and you start at the bottom and work your way up one step at a time.
The only job you start at the top is when you are digging a hole.
Be Blessed
Labels: goals
Thursday, December 06, 2007
The Fear of Rejection
Fear of rejection is a state of mind that makes a person feel inadequate, helpless and worthless. It inhibits a person from doing or saying things because of the fear that other people might not accept them or disapprove of their actions and words.
The fear of rejection may have haunted each one of us at one time or another, It may be caused by our fear of being and living alone, too much dependence on other people's perception of us, lack of confidence and inability to control our own life.
A person who is so concerned about what others may think of them could make their life miserable because one can no longer speak their own mind nor do things that they would normally do on their own. The fear of rejection can paralyze a person and discourage them from being productive.
A person's uniqueness disappears the moment one puts primary emphasis on what others want them to be. A person too caught up with pleasing others will start to emulate other people from the way they dress and the way they behave in society. This usually happens to young people who crave attention and acceptance but do not yet have enough foundation for self acceptance. This is detrimental to a person's growth because there is no more room for self expression, only of self denial and the thought of pleasing others.
A person who fears being rejected can be characterized as a person who acts without confidence: A person who is not sure of their self will tend to imitate others and keep from trying new things. Such lack of confidence will ultimately make such person unhappy and bitter.
A person who is not vocal about their perception of things may be having trouble with rejection. One may keep from voicing out their opinion for fear of being criticized. A person who does not have the freedom to speak for their self and to express their wants will soon become depressed and will no longer have love for life. This person will tend to act like a remote control robot that can not make its own decisions.
The reason for this is that one is confused about their own true identity. A person who has fears of being rejected will end up confused about which they really are. This leads to an identity crisis and will makes a person angry at their self and at other people for no reason at all. This will cause lack of self esteem and self worth; a person who gives more importance to what others may think of them does not have much faith in their self to start with. This lack of self esteem may have resulted from feelings of rejection instilled in them by his family or friends.
A person who fears rejection will ultimately be rejected by the people they want to please and who love them dearly. A person who has the tendency to please other people will soon get sucked into a difficult cycle of rejection. Their behavior will keep the people they care about alienated from them, one sees this as a rejection and then the cycle goes on and on.
So how does one suddenly develop their own self identity? It is so simple it is hard. First retreat for a while and be by your self with only your self as company, no friends, family, pets, or other distractions. Seek as much silence as possible and prepare yourself for some work. This may take a few hours or even a whole day. Go to the park, a deserted beach, the library, a reading room at the book store, etc. Find a place where you can be with your self for a while.
Have a small note book with you and a pen, write down all the things you like, your favorite color, favorite food, etc. Now write down what you like to do, jog, hike, play chess, etc. Now write down what you like about your life, your hobby, your home, your neighbor hood, etc. Note; if you do not like something do not write it down.
Now look at what you have written and rewrite them all into one sentence. Write it as many times as you need to make a coherent sentence or paragraph. When you are satisfied with the work reread it and think about it. This is the beginning of you: The tip of the ice berg, the start of self discovery, the front door of your structure. You now have a glimpse of who you are.
The next step is to take what you now know of your self and decide what you want to do in this life. Pick anything, something, even if it is only a short term goal and determine that you will do it. Maybe determine you will go see the movie you want to see, even if your friends disapprove. Maybe it will be to seek a different job even if your family disagrees. Decide and do it and you have begun the crucial start of being your self and discovering who you are.
You can be what ever you will to be.
Be Blessed
The fear of rejection may have haunted each one of us at one time or another, It may be caused by our fear of being and living alone, too much dependence on other people's perception of us, lack of confidence and inability to control our own life.
A person who is so concerned about what others may think of them could make their life miserable because one can no longer speak their own mind nor do things that they would normally do on their own. The fear of rejection can paralyze a person and discourage them from being productive.
A person's uniqueness disappears the moment one puts primary emphasis on what others want them to be. A person too caught up with pleasing others will start to emulate other people from the way they dress and the way they behave in society. This usually happens to young people who crave attention and acceptance but do not yet have enough foundation for self acceptance. This is detrimental to a person's growth because there is no more room for self expression, only of self denial and the thought of pleasing others.
A person who fears being rejected can be characterized as a person who acts without confidence: A person who is not sure of their self will tend to imitate others and keep from trying new things. Such lack of confidence will ultimately make such person unhappy and bitter.
A person who is not vocal about their perception of things may be having trouble with rejection. One may keep from voicing out their opinion for fear of being criticized. A person who does not have the freedom to speak for their self and to express their wants will soon become depressed and will no longer have love for life. This person will tend to act like a remote control robot that can not make its own decisions.
The reason for this is that one is confused about their own true identity. A person who has fears of being rejected will end up confused about which they really are. This leads to an identity crisis and will makes a person angry at their self and at other people for no reason at all. This will cause lack of self esteem and self worth; a person who gives more importance to what others may think of them does not have much faith in their self to start with. This lack of self esteem may have resulted from feelings of rejection instilled in them by his family or friends.
A person who fears rejection will ultimately be rejected by the people they want to please and who love them dearly. A person who has the tendency to please other people will soon get sucked into a difficult cycle of rejection. Their behavior will keep the people they care about alienated from them, one sees this as a rejection and then the cycle goes on and on.
So how does one suddenly develop their own self identity? It is so simple it is hard. First retreat for a while and be by your self with only your self as company, no friends, family, pets, or other distractions. Seek as much silence as possible and prepare yourself for some work. This may take a few hours or even a whole day. Go to the park, a deserted beach, the library, a reading room at the book store, etc. Find a place where you can be with your self for a while.
Have a small note book with you and a pen, write down all the things you like, your favorite color, favorite food, etc. Now write down what you like to do, jog, hike, play chess, etc. Now write down what you like about your life, your hobby, your home, your neighbor hood, etc. Note; if you do not like something do not write it down.
Now look at what you have written and rewrite them all into one sentence. Write it as many times as you need to make a coherent sentence or paragraph. When you are satisfied with the work reread it and think about it. This is the beginning of you: The tip of the ice berg, the start of self discovery, the front door of your structure. You now have a glimpse of who you are.
The next step is to take what you now know of your self and decide what you want to do in this life. Pick anything, something, even if it is only a short term goal and determine that you will do it. Maybe determine you will go see the movie you want to see, even if your friends disapprove. Maybe it will be to seek a different job even if your family disagrees. Decide and do it and you have begun the crucial start of being your self and discovering who you are.
You can be what ever you will to be.
Be Blessed
Labels: self improvement
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