Sunday, November 25, 2007
Be In Charge of Your Life
Trying to please everyone else is a sure fire way to screw up your life. Caring what other people think of you is a necessary part of life, but allowing what they think to control your life puts them in charge, instead of you.
The worry of “What will other people think about me?” is a form of slavery and unfortunately is extremely common. Most of us are brought up to be considerate others, but unless we are discerning, we soon find ourselves caught up in a job we can't stand, or living in a relationship which makes us unhappy, and getting caught up in the spiral of poverty.
You can not please everyone all the time, trying to do so will only lead to frustration and unhappiness. The 'trying to please other people all the time' syndrome begins in childhood. It stems from a desire to be liked and admired. What we are not taught as children is that self esteem comes from inside not from external influence.
For example if you have good friends you strive to always be with them, to spend time with them and to be together even if it is just to “hang out” together. In your efforts to keep your friends happy with you, you may well find yourself doing things you would not normally consider doing. In this way you begin the spiral of giving up your personal power to others in the hope you will be liked.
The biggest danger to you is if the solution entails you giving away your free will. In other words, if the only reason you give in is because you desperately want to be liked, and it really matters what your friends think of you, then you are in danger of giving away your power, and your free will to others. What is really sad is that those you give your free will to often do not care and will abuse you and or neglect you in the seeking of their own pleasures.
If they were real friends, of course, they would understand your view and would not criticize. However over the course of years thousands of small incidents build up, until by the time we are adults, most of us make a habit of putting what other people think of us before our own personal needs and desires.
Here is where we must break from this trap and free ourselves. There are certain requirements that we must do, like show up for work: No work equals no pay. While at work we have certain tasks to accomplish, that is why we get paid, but at work we do not have to be friends with everybody. You are getting paid to do work, not be popular. Said in a different way; you must do the tasks required, but you do not have to be the same religion. You have to dress as required but you do not have to vote for the same political candidate. You have a structured day but you do not have to have the same habits as everyone else. You must learn to be you at all times and in all environments.
Being liked or disliked by other people is not what makes the world go around; liking yourself for what you are is what makes the world what it is. If you do not like your self or your life, then you can change it. Please note it is not being said that ‘they’ can change your life to make you happy; what IS being said is that you can change your life to make you happy.
So examine your self, if you see something you do not like, do not blame others for your misfortune, you gave away your free will, and your life was messed up because others did not care that they were supposed to make you happy. So now you must take back your free will and start to lead your own life as you would see fit.
This does not mean for you to forsake all friendships and relationships, you must gently change the ones you wish to preserve so that you are happy. If you are in a bad relationship, you can stop, change or move on. The point here is that the choice is yours.
You must start making your own choices; it is your life so start living it.
Be Blessed
The worry of “What will other people think about me?” is a form of slavery and unfortunately is extremely common. Most of us are brought up to be considerate others, but unless we are discerning, we soon find ourselves caught up in a job we can't stand, or living in a relationship which makes us unhappy, and getting caught up in the spiral of poverty.
You can not please everyone all the time, trying to do so will only lead to frustration and unhappiness. The 'trying to please other people all the time' syndrome begins in childhood. It stems from a desire to be liked and admired. What we are not taught as children is that self esteem comes from inside not from external influence.
For example if you have good friends you strive to always be with them, to spend time with them and to be together even if it is just to “hang out” together. In your efforts to keep your friends happy with you, you may well find yourself doing things you would not normally consider doing. In this way you begin the spiral of giving up your personal power to others in the hope you will be liked.
The biggest danger to you is if the solution entails you giving away your free will. In other words, if the only reason you give in is because you desperately want to be liked, and it really matters what your friends think of you, then you are in danger of giving away your power, and your free will to others. What is really sad is that those you give your free will to often do not care and will abuse you and or neglect you in the seeking of their own pleasures.
If they were real friends, of course, they would understand your view and would not criticize. However over the course of years thousands of small incidents build up, until by the time we are adults, most of us make a habit of putting what other people think of us before our own personal needs and desires.
Here is where we must break from this trap and free ourselves. There are certain requirements that we must do, like show up for work: No work equals no pay. While at work we have certain tasks to accomplish, that is why we get paid, but at work we do not have to be friends with everybody. You are getting paid to do work, not be popular. Said in a different way; you must do the tasks required, but you do not have to be the same religion. You have to dress as required but you do not have to vote for the same political candidate. You have a structured day but you do not have to have the same habits as everyone else. You must learn to be you at all times and in all environments.
Being liked or disliked by other people is not what makes the world go around; liking yourself for what you are is what makes the world what it is. If you do not like your self or your life, then you can change it. Please note it is not being said that ‘they’ can change your life to make you happy; what IS being said is that you can change your life to make you happy.
So examine your self, if you see something you do not like, do not blame others for your misfortune, you gave away your free will, and your life was messed up because others did not care that they were supposed to make you happy. So now you must take back your free will and start to lead your own life as you would see fit.
This does not mean for you to forsake all friendships and relationships, you must gently change the ones you wish to preserve so that you are happy. If you are in a bad relationship, you can stop, change or move on. The point here is that the choice is yours.
You must start making your own choices; it is your life so start living it.
Be Blessed
Labels: life, self improvement
http://www.staffofpower.com
